A five second gag to put into a loose moment.
Cast: Campfire chief and a
volunteer in the audience
Campfire Chief: And now it's time to make a spot announcement. (Dog barks from the
audience.) Thank you Spot.
This one is a run on that requires the above-mentioned partner whose been around for
years and will be for years more, and good timing. One of the nice things about this one
is that you can use as little as two appearances or if necessary, you can expand upon it
to other situations involving the wordplay about "case" and court. Another line
would be at the beginning where the litigant goes to someone for advice, but they say that
they don't have a case, prompting them to go buy a briefcase.
Cast: Campfire Chief,
Each time the litigant comes in, the campfire chief is about to announce or close a
skit. Requires perfect timing or a chief who is able to blend in the litigant's entries
perfectly, or both.
Chief: Hello? I'm trying to introduce the next item? What are you doing here?
Litigant: (coming in with briefcase) Uh, excuse me, but I need to tell you something.
My inspection results today were terrible, so I'm going to (lift up briefcase) bring my
case to court.
Next appearance, the litigant is crawling on the ground with a flashlight, without the
Chief: Oh, it's you again. What are you doing down on the ground?
Litigant: I lost my case! I'm looking for it!
Next appearance, the litigant is up on a table, a high chair, a tall tree stump, in a
tree, whatever, carrying his briefcase. He makes noise to get attention, and the chief
shines a light on him.
Chief: What are you doing now?
Litigator: I'm bringing my case to a higher court!
Last appearance is a little dangerous. Be careful to have plenty of open space where
people won't get hurt, and that the chief is ready for this.
Suddenly the briefcase is flying through the air and the Chief catches it -- if only to
protect the audience :) -- and exclaims:
Chief: (Flustered) What's this all about?
Litigator: My case got thrown out of court!
From: Tom Oldershaw
Scene: A person standing on a stage reciting a long story (or some other activity). A
second person will enter at various stages and interrupt him, after which the story teller
The second person will need the following props: A briefcase, and a step ladder.
1. Person 2 walks on with a briefcase. First person asks him what he's doing. Reply:
"I'm taking by case to court". Walks off.
2. Enters again with a step ladder. Same as before, this time replying: "I'm
taking my case to a higher court"
3. This time, person two places the hands of the story teller in front of him, and puts
his case on them. "I rest my case" (This one works best when the story teller
doesn't know about it).
4. This time, without a case: "I lost my case" [We also "lost the
case" by searching all around the stage, cabinets under the stage, near the MC
('scuse me, 'pardon me), under his papers, etc. Then tell him you "lost your
5. Entry with a banana and case: "What are you doing with that banana?"
"I am appealing my case!"
6. Next time: Open and close the case as you walk across the stage. When MC asks what
you are doing, tell him/her "...it's an open and shut case!"
7. Person enters, case open and inverted. MC asks, "Now what are you doing?"
Person replies, "My case got overturned."
Scout: Walks on stage, looks around slowly and says, "Scotty! The aliens are very
unfriendly!! Quick!! Beam me aboard!!"
Another scout in the audience: THUNK (the
sound of a 2x4 landing on stage)
1st scout, "Hey George, look over there, smoke signals."
2nd scout ,"Oh yes Mike, what do they say?"
1st scout, pretending to look away through binoculars, says very slowly, "Help...
My... Blankets... On... Fire.
1st scout looking back at 2nd scout, "Help my blankets on fire?"
Scout 1: Whatcha doing ?
Scout 2: Writing a letter to my little brother.
Scout 1: Why are you writing so slowly?
Scout 1: Because my little brother can't read very fast!
A quickie goes like this: Persons runs "onstage" screaming "they're after
me! They're after me!" MC asks "Who's after you" Person replies "The
squirrels, they think I'm nuts"
You need two characters, one on stage and the other to rush on in a panic, swatting the
air, looking desperate and yelling, "It's all around me, it's all around me!"
What's all around you?" the first player asks. The other replies,
"My belt, of course!"
Player walks across the area scattering handfuls of leaves he takes from a big bag.
Another player approaches and asks, "What are you doing?" 1st Player: I'm
Two scouts needed, or one scout and the MC.
One: (walks onto stage area pulling a string big enough to see)
Two:(asks) What are you doing
One: I'm pulling a string
Two: what are you doing that for?
One: Well, have you ever tried to push one?!
Two scouts needed, or one scout and the MC.
"They're all over me, they're all over me!"
"What's all over you?"
And one more from me...
Walk across the front of the room tossing a ball several inches
to a foot up in the air.
Set up a plant in the audience or Cubmaster asks "What are you doing?"
Replies, " I'm throwing up!"
Through the meeting or campfire, different people run through with some container (cups,
buckets, cans, etc). Eventually the MC stops one of them and asks what's going on to which
the reply is "your tent (car, house whatever) is on fire". Now when we do it we
add a great deal to it depending on the location setting etc. The water carriers ham it up
by making it look like a real effort or something very serious. The MC makes some comment
to the audience each time one runs through including things like requesting a cup of
coffee the next time someone runs through. Sometimes we have people "offstage"
cheering the runner through. And sometimes we change the "punch line". Like MC:
where's the fire?, runner: there's no fire, so & so is thirsty, at which time someone
walks across with a cup and wiping their mouth saying ahhhhhhh. I think you can get the
idea from there.
Alien comes in - traditional "take me to your leader" routine etc. When taken to
leader the alien says, "Stop singing, Ging Gang Goolie -- it's our national
Mike: Why do you keep the ruler on the newspaper when you're reading?
Spike: I want to
get the story straight!
Cub 1: Ask me if I'm a rabbit.
Cub 2: Okay Are you a rabbit?
Cub 1: Yes. Now ask me if I'm a beaver.
Cub 2: Are you a beaver?
Cub 1: No, stupid. I already told you I was a rabbit!
Scene 1: Guy juggling balls. Drops one. Snaps fingers and says, "Missed!" Exits.
Scene 2: Same guy juggling balls. Drops one. Snaps fingers and says,
Scene 3: Same guy says. "If I don't get it this time, I'll shoot myself!"
Juggles balls. Drops one. Exits (Sound of gunshot)
Same guy re-appears, snaps fingers and says, "Missed!"
Teacher: What has five fingers and can be made of leather? Johnny : Eh... I don't know.
Teacher: One glove! Now, what has 10 fingers and can he made of leather?
Johnny : Eh.... I don't know.
Teacher: Two gloves! Now, who is the Governor General of Canada? Johnny : Eh.... Three
Shopper: Have you any four-volt two-watt bulbs? Clerk : For what?
Shopper: No, four-volt, two-watt.
Clerk : Two what?
Clerk : No.
(Three tired looking hikers enter, drop packs and flop in a circle.)
Hiker 1: (groans)
What a day.
Hiker 2: (after a pause, groans) What a day.
Hiker 3: (happily) Yeah, it sure was!
Hiker 2: (angrily) If you can't stick to the subject, I'm leaving! (First two hikers stalk
off, leaving third looking very surprised).
Center stage is a lad fishing from a billy can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as
though he has something on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then
walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes back to the lad.
Passer by: "What
are you doing there then?"
Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?"
Passer by: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for."
Fisher: "I'm fishing for suckers."
Passer by: "Have you caught any?"
Fisher: "Yes you're the third today"
1st scout: "OOOOOUCH , OOOOOH , OOOUCH."
2nd scout: "What's the matter with you?"
1st scout: "A bee's stung my thumb."
2nd scout: "Try putting some cream on it then."
1st scout: "But the bee will be miles away by this time."